2011 Gratitude Alphabet!

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

A- Aramis. I'm thankful for the best dog who passed away this year.
B- Brothers. I have the best brothers any girl could ask for! They are funny, brilliant, and sincere.
C- Cell phone. If I didn't have mine, I wouldn't have GPS or instant communication with my loved ones.
D- Dad. Mine works the hardest, listens the best, and can always make me smile.
E- Endorphins. It's my own body's way of being happy!
F- Friends. I've made some new, and kept some old. Friends are the best!
G- God. I am/have nothing without my creator.
H-Harmonies. The kind in music, and in relationships.
I-Imagination. I inadvertently imagine inside igloos.
J-Jesus Christ. He is my Savior.
K-Knowledge. It's free, and it stays with me forever!
L-Love. It's also free! And should be cherished.
M-Mothers. My mother is the best. She is beautiful, funny, talented, and brilliant. I love showing her off.
N-Nintendo. Japanese translation is, "Leave luck to heaven." It has entertained me on many occasions.
O-Open doors. Because I have been blessed with many in my life.
P-Plants. My room is filled with more oxygen because of my beautiful plant collection.
Q-Q-Tips. They are essential.
R-Residence Inn, best job ever!!
S-Scriptures. I would be so lost without them.
T-Time. It heals everything.
U-Understanding. A meeting of the minds.
V-Variety. Of food, people, music, art, anything! It makes life interesting.
W-Windows. Some say the eyes are the window to the soul.
X-Xerox machines. I would have a hard time at work if I didn't have one of these.
Y-Yesterday. That means I've made it one more day.
Z-Zion. It will be home.

Pure in heart

 

Jacob 3:1-2

1 But behold, I, Jacob, would speak unto you that are pure in heart. Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions, and he will plead your cause, and send down justice upon those who seek your destruction.
2 O all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love; for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever

life is so good. everything comes back around.

 "Some cause happiness wherever they go; Others, whenever they go."

--Oscar Wilde

I didn't realize this until now. It's been two years since I married dick, over a year since we divorced. I hope he is doing well. I hope he has found that cop job he's always desired. I hope he's moving forward in life.

'Don't look back unless you plan on going that way."

Well

 There's a well
Far deep in the ground
In it, I fell
Into a slumber so sound

Beautiful and dark
The stones are chilled and cold
Untouchable and stark
With cracks of stories untold

Why can't I get out?
Ensnared in this hard wall
Hollow, empty shouts
How did I even fall?

Struggling to be free
Remaining futile and pained
Dreams of what life could be
Yet this facade leaves me drained

I can't stay here
Though I dream to find a way
Among feelings so unclear
Dwelling night and day

I need to break through
And see what brought me here
Are you honest and true?
Or simply a mirage, I fear

The sunshine peaks in
From the consuming endless black
I see a subtle grin
And then a turned back.

10:51am

 

It's been a while since I've gone to Smith park to swing. I usually do that when I'm depressed. I am not on any medication anymore (only winter semester, I got off it in April )and I wake up happy every morning. I am hardcore exercising 2-3 days a week, and about every night Michael and I take a nice walk around the town. I am on a 1200 a day calorie diet. (Another bit of evidence that I am happy--I eat! Which sadly made me go from 135-145 in a few months.) I am taking a multivitamin to give me the energy I need. I am enjoying all of my classes, thoroughly. I am getting good grades. I am about to start a rock climbing class, which will be fun and it will keep me active. The music I'm listening to, makes me really happy (mostly Angels and Airwaves). I am getting enough sleep at night, and still enjoy a 1-2 hour nap around 2 or 3 every day. My New Testament class is incredible. It is taught by a man named Brother Wahlquist. I am learning so much about the life of my Savior. It is interesting to me, to note that the 4 gospels are incredibly condensed. Christ is literally on the go, all the time, and there are so many stories and parables and little gems of truth or doctrine that is in the NT. I love it so much. I've been focusing my life on the grace of Christ rather than the protestant work ethic, and I've found that my life has become significantly less stressful and anxious. I am able to relax a bit, because I know through the Atonement covers where I lack. And because of that, I have more motivation to do better.

I have been thinking about this protestant mind set I'm learning about in school. Our country is founded on it. (Only two catholic men were present at the Constitutional Convention. The rest were protestant.) Utah has it plastered all over their homes and billboards. The idea is that the harder we work, and the more righteous we are, the more blessed we will be (financially, spiritually, etc). That has problems because even when a person is doing the best they can, they will still have problems. So rather than hope, wait, and put ourselves through misery and hard work to know of our 'well deserved' eternal mansion is afterwards, I'd much rather enjoy life and be grateful for all I have now, because I certainly have enough AND more to have overwhelming gratitude. I choose to believe in the Saviors atonement. I need to live. I need to enjoy every breath. Every heart beat. Every butterfly or bird or tree that I walk past. I need to enjoy every beautiful smell that comes from the blossoms that spring invites. I need to cherish every genuine human interaction I encounter on a daily basis. Because, I am alive. I am a human being that is entitled to 'be happy and have joy therein.' And through this joy and peace I can find in my life, I will be able to share to those who need it. If I am not at peace with my life, all my human interaction would be like handing an empty glass to a person who is thirsty. I want to love life and be grateful for it. Through finding peace and gratitude of this beautiful world around me, I can then serve others the way God would have me do.

Barbie Boombox

 

Alright. I'm in a band. So, we took band photos last night. Here are a few of the photos. A bit vain, maybe.

Becoming a better person.

 

For some reason, the act of service has truly been in my mind lately. How can I become more charitable? How can I give, and not expect anything in return? As humans, we have such a carnal and selfish tendency to always seek that which benefits ourselves. But the Savior taught through word and example, to give. To serve. And he gave his life, no, he *sacrificed* his life, as the most ultimate example of pure love and charity. But we know, it's not easy. In fact, it is very contrary to our animalistic human nature to be charitable, if we resorted back to our 'survival of the fittest' tendencies. Someday I hope to be able to speak and act in charity, at all times. I hope to become the kind of person who puts others before myself, instinctively.

Yes!

Liz Gilbert: I'm sick of people telling me that I need a man.
Felipe: You don't need a man. You need a champion!