10:51am

 

It's been a while since I've gone to Smith park to swing. I usually do that when I'm depressed. I am not on any medication anymore (only winter semester, I got off it in April )and I wake up happy every morning. I am hardcore exercising 2-3 days a week, and about every night Michael and I take a nice walk around the town. I am on a 1200 a day calorie diet. (Another bit of evidence that I am happy--I eat! Which sadly made me go from 135-145 in a few months.) I am taking a multivitamin to give me the energy I need. I am enjoying all of my classes, thoroughly. I am getting good grades. I am about to start a rock climbing class, which will be fun and it will keep me active. The music I'm listening to, makes me really happy (mostly Angels and Airwaves). I am getting enough sleep at night, and still enjoy a 1-2 hour nap around 2 or 3 every day. My New Testament class is incredible. It is taught by a man named Brother Wahlquist. I am learning so much about the life of my Savior. It is interesting to me, to note that the 4 gospels are incredibly condensed. Christ is literally on the go, all the time, and there are so many stories and parables and little gems of truth or doctrine that is in the NT. I love it so much. I've been focusing my life on the grace of Christ rather than the protestant work ethic, and I've found that my life has become significantly less stressful and anxious. I am able to relax a bit, because I know through the Atonement covers where I lack. And because of that, I have more motivation to do better.

I have been thinking about this protestant mind set I'm learning about in school. Our country is founded on it. (Only two catholic men were present at the Constitutional Convention. The rest were protestant.) Utah has it plastered all over their homes and billboards. The idea is that the harder we work, and the more righteous we are, the more blessed we will be (financially, spiritually, etc). That has problems because even when a person is doing the best they can, they will still have problems. So rather than hope, wait, and put ourselves through misery and hard work to know of our 'well deserved' eternal mansion is afterwards, I'd much rather enjoy life and be grateful for all I have now, because I certainly have enough AND more to have overwhelming gratitude. I choose to believe in the Saviors atonement. I need to live. I need to enjoy every breath. Every heart beat. Every butterfly or bird or tree that I walk past. I need to enjoy every beautiful smell that comes from the blossoms that spring invites. I need to cherish every genuine human interaction I encounter on a daily basis. Because, I am alive. I am a human being that is entitled to 'be happy and have joy therein.' And through this joy and peace I can find in my life, I will be able to share to those who need it. If I am not at peace with my life, all my human interaction would be like handing an empty glass to a person who is thirsty. I want to love life and be grateful for it. Through finding peace and gratitude of this beautiful world around me, I can then serve others the way God would have me do.